Cult Of Cod

Amazing Cod
How sweet the taste
That fed a hobo like me
I ate each bit
Not a one to waste
And now I am full as can be

Twas Cod that taught
My loins to yearn
And girls my loins releived
80 bucks an hour
Those girls did earn
So joy I could concieve

Through many dangers
Toils and snares
I have already come
'Tis Cod that brought
Me frow here to there
And Cod will bring me home

It came to be, in the years before the Coming of Seajus, and before the Coming of the Television, and even before the Coming of the Toaster Oven, that sin and debauchery overran the land. And Saint Ignum did say "Woo Hoo!!!! ^__^" as Japanese Schoolgirls Without Panties ran by, giggling like Japanese Schoolgirls Without Panties.

Cod looked down on the world, and did say "Dammit, they're getting more sex than I am! That's just not right!"

And Cod descended unto the world, and commanded everyone to cease having sex immediately.

People have often speculated as to the nature of life after death. Is there life after death? Is there reincarnation? Are there adult stores in Heaven? Or is life just a product of chemical reactions that cease upon death? These questions and more, coming up!

In a surprise move following Australia's declaration that Platypuses do not exist, New Zealand has declared that sheep no longer exist. It followed with announcing that under its new legislature, it was now the premier exporter of Woolly Codpieces worldwide.

Our New Zealand anchor was unreachable for comment, as he appears to have gone off to purchase his very own Woolly Codpiece, so we are instead using local New Zealander "Bruce" to fill in for him.

Reporter: "So Bruce, what can you tell us about the New Zealand sheep situation?"

Seajus was dead. He had fried for the sins of not only the Apostals, but of all peoples around the globe. And now Seajus was dead.

This came as heavy news to all the Apostals. Well... most of them. A few of them anyways. A couple of the closer ones.

Actually, none of them cared, because they were busy chowing down on their Savour at the BBQ, hosted by the Romans and Pompous Pilot (a self-centered former airline pilot till 9/11 in the year 50 BS, when a freak accident between a plane and a duck caused a crash in airline traffic and the companies all filed for bankruptcy).

Before the coming of Seajus, there were still those who worshipped Cod. They were known as the Chews, and they followed some of the first teachings of Cod, passed down to them by their prophets: MaybeHam and Noses.

It was brought to my attention by a newly joined codite that our cult lacks sects. While it is true that we have a few small bits of sects, it tends to be insufficent for the average codite. It important that children are not deprived of the experience of having sects. Children should be encouraged to participate in and initiate their own sects. Some of the best sects start with just the members of your family, and grow to be much larger group sects.

It all began one morning as Seajus was strolling around town with his Fishiples following him everywhere. He tripped. Not only did he trip, but he landed face first in the mud. The Son of Cod? Trip? FALL? Get splattered with mud? Unheard of! The fishiples stood around in stunned silence, unsure what to make of it. Could it be that Seajus was not really the Son of Cod? That he wasn't all that and a bag of potato chips???

Scientists and Buddhist Monks have long sought to grasp the value of infinity. Their methods have often conflicted, with scientists seeking increasingly more powerful computers to continue to count numbers, while the monks have probed their own minds and understandings of the cosmos to determine it.

Recently however, there has been a breakthrough in the field of Infinitology (the study of infinity). With the help of the Buddhist monk "Dolly Llama", researcher Jon Smith has found, what he believes to be the key to unlocking Infinity.

Codism: