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Cult of Cod Code
Chaos 12, 9 AC
12 < 2 < 9 AC
Oct 11, 2008 |
Many people (ie: Me, myself and I) have noticed a distinct lack of methods for Codites to identify with one another. Therefore, borrowing off the ideas presented in the Geek Code and the Discordian Code, the First Prophet of Cod got bored, and created an almost universal Cult of Cod Identification Code. With the help of the code, Codites will be able to confuse one another by listing off a long stream of letters, number, mathematical signs, and anything else I feel like throwing in. Feel free to e-mail any suggestions to prophet@cultofcod.org... presenting therefore the CoC Code v1.0. Tell me what you think. :)
General Modifiers
The Cult of Cod Code is not rigid in nature, but very flexible. In addition to the standard + and - modifiers to signal levels of attraction/repulsion to a particular subject, the CoC code also contains the following modifiers:
| $ |
Suffix: Means that you get money for that particular attribute. For example, if you are C++$, that means you get paid to use the computer.
Prefix: Means you need to fork out money for that particular attribute. Someone with $F+++ would be paying through the nose to keep their fashion wardrobe up to date. |
| ! |
Suffix: Signifies general hate for the particular subject. Example: JC! means you hate Christianity with a passion.
Prefix: Refusal to take part in. This is different from the suffix because it indicates apathy rather than hatred. Example: !C would be someone who refuses to use the computer. |
| ? |
Suffix: Indicates person lacks enough information on the topic to make a proper judgement. Someone who's never read the Bible would mark themselves JC?.
Prefix: Indicates desire to learn more about the subject, no matter how much is already known on the topic. A ?Cod person may have read the current Holey Scriptures, but wish to learn more. |
| @ |
Suffix: Signifies a "chaotic variable". The person fluctuates around a lot on the subject. A F@ person may wear everything from designer clothes to rags in a given week.
Prefix: Signifies a "funny variable". The person finds the subject amusing and should not be trusted unless they tell you otherwise. A @F person would find the notion of fashion funny and may be found parading around in purple polkadotted underpants and a neon-orange bra. |
| ( ) |
Used in one of two ways... can be used to signify variation of a variable. A Cod-(+) person may vary from a slight dislike to a slight like of Codism. Alternatively, can be used to signify one is out right lying about a variable as in a Cod-ignorant person using (Cod++++). |
| { } |
Used to signify a part of the variable that applies only to the Prophet. For example {$}X--->{++++} would denote a virgin girl who wants to pay the Prophet money to fuck her constantly. |
| > |
Signifies a "wannabe variable". The person wants to be on a different level than they already are. A person who marks themself as Cod?>+ may be generally ignorant of Cod, but want to know more and like it. |
| / |
Both cases are true. For example, someone who is R+/++ dates every so often, and is currently involved in a steady relationship. |
| * |
Used only as a prefix. Signifies a special case (see the description of each variable for an explanation) |
Title
Here's where you pick the title you've chosen for yourself as part of your Top Secret Cult Name (which is posted on the site), or you can make up your own. Hey, it's your code. The "C" prefix designates "Codite", therefore if you are NOT a Codite (one wonders why you'd be making a code if that were the case), then do not include the C prefix.
| CA | Abbot |
| CB | Babe |
| CC | Cod |
| CCss | Coddess |
| CCf | Codfather |
| CCm | Codmother |
| CCb | Codbrother |
| CCs | Codsister |
| CCl | Codinal |
| CF- | Figment of your imagination |
| CFi | Fishiple |
| CFp | Fishop |
| CG | God |
| CGss | Goddess |
| CNf | Neofur |
| CNp | Neophyte |
| CPr | Priest |
| CPo | Pope |
| CO" " | Other (specify between ""s) |
Additionally, a Saint can use a + suffix to signify his/her/its special status. The First Prophet is permitted to use a + prefix instead.
Fashion
Fashion is likely the least important thing to a blossoming Codite. With so many fashion designers to choose from, it becomes but a matter of a second to say "Screw it all to Heel!" and wear whatever you darn well want, rebuking the face of fashion! Ha! Viva La Resistance!
| F++++ | I dress in a suit and tie by choice (Cod take you now) |
| F+++ | I am forced to wear a suit and tie at work, but at home I relax a bit. |
| F++ | I wear a suit and tie when I have to. |
| F+ | I wear trendy Adidas/Nike/Rebok/Whatever stuff. |
| F | I wear stuff... it's acceptable, but nothing as "common" as jeans. |
| F- | Jeans and a t-shirt. They don't mean much though. |
| F-- | My T-shirt bears socially innapropriate messages |
| F--- | Small children look at me nervously |
| F---- | My clothes resemble rags to the point you can't tell what the tags say. |
| *F | I wear CoC stuff I made myself |
| $*F | I wear sweet ass CoC merchandise (hopefully to be soon available, included for forwards compatibility) |
| F! | I wear nothing |
| F!! | I wear nothing and shave myself |
Age
Age is but in the eye of the beholder. That may be, but people generally would like to know roughly what age you are. Therefore, the CoC Code includes a variable for specifying your age in general terms. If you choose to be more specific, you can add your age in ( )s at the end.
| A+++++ | 60+ Codite (Senior Codite) |
| A++++ | 50-60 Codite (Midlife Crisis Codite) |
| A+++ | 40-50 Codite |
| A++ | 30-40 Codite |
| A+ | 25-30 Codite (Quarter-life Crisis Codite) |
| A | 21-25 Codite (able to drink in the US) |
| A- | 18-21 Codite (able to drink in Canada) |
| A-- | 16-18 Codite (able to drive in North America) |
| A--- | 14-16 Codite (High School Codite) |
| A---- | 10-14 Codite (Junior High Codite) |
| A----- | -10 Codite (Elementry Codite) |
| *A | Ageless |
Education
A Codite should be a master of knowledge, able to approach old problems from a new angle (or new ones from an old angle... or different ones from an abstract and obtuse angle...). This variable identifies a Codite's knowledge as measured by th public school and university system.
| E++++ | Multiple Degrees, at least one being a Phd |
| E+++ | Phd in a subject |
| E++ | Master's degree |
| E+ | Bachelor's degree |
| E | High school education |
| E- | Part of a High School education |
| E-- | Elementry School education |
| E--- | Kindergarten Education |
| E---- | George W. Bush |
| *E | All I needed to learn, I learned from any of the following: "The Illuminatus! Trilogy", "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy" or the Holey Scriptures of Cod |
| *E? | I am Albert Einstein! I do not need education! |
Computers
A knowledge of computers is essential in our society. Especially since this is online. This variable then represents your knowledge of the workings of computers, inside and out.
| C++++ | I am a computer God. I know several programming languages and program readily. I diagnose computer problems in my sleep. |
| C+++ | Computer nut. Know at least one programming language reasonably well. If something goes wrong, I'm in control of the situation and often have it fixed by the next day. |
| C++ | I am computer savvy. I can find anything I need online. |
| C+ | I have a good idea of my way around the computer. I've cutomized my computer to my exact tastes. |
| C | My computer still offers a few new surprises, but overall I feel comfortable using it. |
| C- | My computer is a mystery to me. I often call upon other people to help me with customizing an application I already use. |
| C-- | I blow my top when anyone changes anything with my computer, because I can't figure out how to change it back. |
| C--- | I'd love to use it, if you show me that any key these applications keep asking for. |
| C---- | Where's the on switch? |
| *C | I am 1337 Cyb3r GAWD! Ph2ar my Tr0jan pow3rz. Sub7 rul3z! |
| **C | I wrote Sub7/Netbus/BO2k, or I wrote something even better. |
Codliness in Language
Cod has a wonderfully diverse language to augment the prestige of His followers, ranging from the obvious "Worship the Fish" to the obscure ASCII fish. This variable measures how much a Codite has taken the Codly language to heart.
| L++++ | I use the Codly language when talking with friends and strangers alike |
| L+++ | I have given up some common expressions in favour of "Coddammit" and "Cod Al Mighty" |
| L++ | I have been known to occasionally say "cod" in passing speech |
| L+ | I have said "Worship the Fish" on occasion online only. |
| L | I once made the ASCII Fish symbol |
| L- | I've seen/heard people make references to Cod, but never done so myself. |
| L-- | You mean there are Cod-related statements? |
| L--- | I've seen them, but I think they're shit. |
| L---- | The Cod Language is only for losers! |
| *L | I've kopylefted my own Codly expression and sent it to the First Prophet. |
Codliness in Conversion
Codism is a growing religion (I wish), and so each Codite is free to give an assessment of how much conversion they have provided to the CoC to help bloister its ranks.
| Con++++ | I preach the Word of Cod, regardless who to, with reasonable success |
| Con+++ | I've tried to convert my friends to Codism, with success |
| Con++ | I've actively tried to convert friends to Codism, with little or no success |
| Con+ | I've directed people to the Cult of Cod page when they asked me about it. |
| Con | There's a link to the CoC on my main page |
| Con- | There's a link to the CoC on an obscure page on my site |
| Con-- | I mention Codism in passing on my site |
| Con--- | My significant other doesn't know that I'm a Codite |
| Con---- | My left hand doesn't know my right hand's religion. |
| *Con | I have attempted to convert a publically known figure. |
| **Con | I succeed in converting a publically known figure. |
| $Con | I pay people to have them join Codism |
| Con$ | People pay me so they can join Codism |
Codliness in Worship
Codism is also full of religious rites (among other things) that the Codite may perform if they wish. This variable represents the Codite's willingness to follow these rites and get wet for no apparent reason.
| Wor++++ | I perform Codite worships every day! My bed's either waterproof or so waterlogged it double as a seedling bed. |
| Wor+++ | I want designated Codidays so I have a reason to do the worships. |
| Wor++ | They're fun every once in a while when I feel like getting wet. |
| Wor+ | I've tried 'em a couple times, but don't find them appealing. |
| Wor | I tried one of them but decided I didn't wanna get that wet again. |
| Wor- | I was gonna do one, but I chickened out. |
| Wor-- | I thought about doing one of them, but never got around to it. |
| Wor--- | I'm not crazy! I don't wanna get wet! |
| Wor---- | I don't go for that religious dogma stuff. |
| *Wor | I submitted a worship rite to the First Prophet, and it was accepted (you must at least qualify for a Wor+ to use this prefix) |
| Wor$ | I charge an admission fee to let people watch me worship. 10$/head |
Codliness in Knowledge
Signifies how much a Codite has studied the Codly scriptures and his devotion to learning more about the Glory of Cod.
| Cod++++ | I have read all the Codly scriptures and re-read them often in case changes have been made and to refresh my memory. |
| Cod+++ | I've read all the scriptures, but don't see a need to re-read them |
| Cod++ | I've read most of the scriptures and stop by once in a while to see if any new ones have been added. |
| Cod+ | I've read the scriptures, but don't come back often unless someone reminds me to. |
| Cod | I read the scriptures and walked away. |
| Cod- | I read a few scriptures and got bored. |
| Cod-- | I read one or two scriptures and decided this isn't for me. |
| Cod--- | I look at the title and said "no, I don't wanna join a cult". |
| Cod---- | Why do you worship a fish? |
| *Cod | Wrote and submitted my own scripture to the First Prophet (requires at least a Cod+++ to qualify for this) |
Knowledge of Christianity
Many of the aspects of Codism were borrowed and never returned to Christianity. A knowledge of Christianity is almost necessary in order to get half the jokes contained within the Holey Scriptures. This variable measures a person's knowledge of Christianity (like or dislike of it is completely irrelevant... merely overall knowledge)
| JC++++ | I know the Bible inside and out, and I don't like you making fun of my religion. |
| JC+++ | I have a pretty good knowledge of the Bible, and understand where most/all the jokes come from. |
| JC++ | I miss a joke once in a while, but overall I know Christianity well enough to get the jokes. |
| JC+ | I get the New Testament jokes, but the Old Testament's not my thing. |
| JC | I get the ones that are in my face (jokes about Seajus), but overall I've read only small bits of the Bible and not by choice |
| JC- | I find myself missing a lot of jokes because I've never read the Bible |
| JC-- | You mean there are jokes about Christianity in this thing? |
| JC--- | What is this Bible thing? |
| JC---- | What is this Christianity thing? |
| *JC | I don't get all the jokes, but I humour you anyways. |
Relationships
Many Codites find it hard to get into a relationship, while others are vitrual Codanova's. This variable measures a Codite's relationship skills (sex skills are next section)
| R++++ | I'm in a permanent relationship with no sign of it ending |
| R+++ | I'm going steady with someone and have another person that might be interested in me if/when I break up. |
| R++ | I date frequently, you seldom find me without a boyfriend/girlfriend/thingfriend. |
| R+ | I date relatively often. I seldom go more than a month single. |
| R | I have dated a few girls in my time. |
| R- | I am in or just finished my first relationship |
| R-- | I've found someone I hope I can start a first relationship with |
| R--- | Wondering if I'll ever find someone to date. |
| R---- | People leave the bench when I sit down. |
| *R | I am in multiple relationships and they don't know about each other |
| **R | I'm a devout polygamist |
Additionally, one can apply a special & prefix to signify that it refers only to online. If you do this, you can use the R variable twice, once with the prefix and once without
Sex! (woo hoo!)
Some Codites have a hard time finding someone to have sex with, while others have to fend off people offering themselves to them. This variable therefore measures a Codite's ability to compete in the sexual jungle where the only law is: Lay or Be Mocked
The variable in this is more flexible. One can replace use either "Y" to show male, "X" to show female or "Z" to remain undisclosed.
| Z++++ | I am a sex God(dess)! I get laid so often, I'm up for the World Record. |
| Z+++ | I get laid daily, whether from one person or from several |
| Z++ | A day or two designated for sex every week. |
| Z+ | I get laid every so often, but usually at least once/month |
| Z | I'm just getting into this sex thing |
| Z- | I masturbate... does that count? |
| Z-- | My idea of a sexual experience is rubbing myself once in the shower |
| Z--- | My body's a temple that's never tasted earthly pleasure |
| Z---- | Sex is icky evil stuff. I don't even like seeing myself naked. |
| $Z | I have to pay for sex. |
| Z$ | People pay me for sex. |
| *Z | Get the kink on! |
| **Z | People get queasy when I tell them what my idea of sex is. |
| ***Z | The porn sites I look at are banned in over half the countries in the world. |
| Z? | I'm desperate... will you have sex with me? |
As with the R variable, you can use the & prefix to signify this is online. If you do so, you can use the variable twice, one with the prefix and once without
How to display your CoC Code
Some people have wondered how do you properly display a CoC Code for other people to see. Well, there is no standardized format as of yet, but I have provided a suggested format that can be used to display your CoC Code. Here is the Code for the First Prophet, displayed in the suggested format:
><> CoC Code Block Begin <><
v1.0 +CF- F->-- A E C+++ *L++++ Con+++>++++ *Wor-->++++ *Cod++++ !JC+++ R++++ (Y++++)
Decipher at http://www.cultofcod.com/code.php
<>< CoC Code Block End ><>
But, as always, you're welcome to create your own format that suits your likings. Happy Confusing! Also, expect more and new updates to the CoC code in days/weeks/months to come as I think of more things. Cod be with you.
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