Seajus at the temple

And it was on that day (as opposed to that other day, as to avoid confusion) that Seajus Crisco, Son of Cod, was walking in Jerrysalem and noticed and occurence in one of the Chewish temples.

So thinking to himself, "Seajus, old boy, you could use a little excitment. The streets of Jerrysalem aren't the wild life they used to be."

Then, he stopped for a bit as nostalgia took over and he remembered all the wonderous times that he had had on the streets of Jerrysalem. Then he remember Janey-poo and the wonderful fun they had. When he came to he realized that his pocket had been picked and so he threw a little tantrum right there in the middle of the road. People stopped and stared at him, and the large crowd that followed him everywhere acted as he did causing quite a noise. They continued in this until old ladies on the second stories of buildings became angry and shouted profanities at the people in the streets and threw feces on them. Well, since no one likes being bathed in feces, all the crowd departed. Now having both his wallet and his crowd gone, Seajus was quite preturbed, but also not wanting to be covered in feces, he fled the streets into the Chewish temple.

It was there that he saw all the many things causing the noises. Now all around him, merchants, dealers, gamblers, tax collectors, and circus folk (you know the whole families that all have a third eye and their pet, the world's harriest goat). Seajus thought this was odd since most temples were all pomp and circumstance. In the time before Seajus, Cod would have never allowed such a thing. However, this wasn't the time before Seajus, since this story is about Seajus. How could it be before the existance of the main charecter? It just wouldn't make sense. Right...where was I? Oh yes. Seajus didn't really care, or at least he wouldn't have, but, seeing as how he just lost his wallet and his crowd, he was really looking for someone to be angry with.

"You have turned my father's house into a den of robbers," cried Seajus.

Then he began flipping over tables and poking at the circus people's third eyes. He went ballistic on the whole place and grabbed whips and threw pots. Anyhow, he came to this one guy, who just happened to be a very infamous pimp, come out of retirement. Without thinking, Seajus almost beat the living salmon out of him. But Whorem Onger, that's the pimp, he stopped Seajus.

"Excuse me," Whorem Onger said. "I know you a are Seajus Crisco, Son of Cod Al Mighty. Don't you think your father would be pleased if you stopped all this holier than thou nonesense and took one of my hookers to a nice little inn instead."

"Well," Seajus thought for a moment. "You are probably right, but I just got pick-pocketed and I have no hooker money. So I suppose I will just have to flog you anyhow."

"NO WAIT!" Whorem cried out in fear. "Take one, on the house." When Seajus didn't relent. "Fine, take two...three all on me. Just go."

So Seajus took all three hookers and did what any good Codite would. Thus, Cod was pleased and all the feces throwing women were struck down.

Note: No one was hurt in the telling of this tale...unless you count pimps, tax collectors, gamblers, merchants, and old ladies with buckets of crap (but I don't count them). Oh and the whores complained to, but we all know they liked it. Other than that no one was hurt. Except of course the pick pocket who was later found by the fleeing crowd and stoned, but that wasn't part of the story, so no one needs to know.