Seajus was dead. He had fried for the sins of not only the Apostals, but of all peoples around the globe. And now Seajus was dead.
This came as heavy news to all the Apostals. Well... most of them. A few of them anyways. A couple of the closer ones.
Actually, none of them cared, because they were busy chowing down on their Savour at the BBQ, hosted by the Romans and Pompous Pilot (a self-centered former airline pilot till 9/11 in the year 50 BS, when a freak accident between a plane and a duck caused a crash in airline traffic and the companies all filed for bankruptcy).
The next morning dawned, and after recovering from their hangovers, the Apostals went about their daily routine of beating each other with implements of Nerf. Three days later, they realized that Seajus wasn't going to show up and stop them this time, so they kept at it. It was roughly six weeks* before the Nerf beatings stopped, and they finally got down to buisness in restructuring their Seajus Cult.
"I should lead us," said Shames, the brother of Seajus. "I knew Seajus best of us all, and I believe I stand to best interperate his mindless ramblings... I mean the scriptures."
"I disagree," said Bashu. "I was the first to become an Apostal, so I've known and studied his teachings most of all. I believe that I should lead us."
"You wanna one-on-one punk?" shouted Shames.
"Bring it. I will r0x0r you."
further nerf beatings ensued between Shames and Bashu... after several hours, Shames is defeated
"Now, I believe that I should lead us," continued Bashu. "For I know his lore best of all, and will serve to be a model for all Codites to come."
A voice in the back shouted, "You newbie! I'll take you."
Recognizing the voice as that of Bark, Bashu called him into the ring for Moral Combat. Bashu went first.
"Name me the 14th commandment of Shmoses!"
"If thou drinketh, thou shalt drink until you are drunk and no less. What shall a Codite consume on the Shabbash?"
"A Codite shall eat none by the most delicious of foods and the most caffeinated of drinks."
And so the Moral Combat raged on for many more hours. At last, Bashu was defeated by Bark's moral superiority. He is quoted to have said "I R L33T" upon the resignation of his opponent.
"Now, my Codites... I propose that we shall drink and eat and be merry as Seajus wanted us to be, until our heads spin and our bellies burst. All in favour?"
"Aye!" shouted the assembled Apostals.
And so they ate and drank and made merry (and made babies). And all were happy.
And tomorrow was to be another day.
* Note: During the six weeks in which the Nerf beatings took place, the Apostals missed the Indigestion of Seajus, in which he burst from the stomach of a roman soldier... but that's another story for some Saint to scribe.
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