science!

In a surprise move following Australia's declaration that Platypuses do not exist, New Zealand has declared that sheep no longer exist. It followed with announcing that under its new legislature, it was now the premier exporter of Woolly Codpieces worldwide.

Our New Zealand anchor was unreachable for comment, as he appears to have gone off to purchase his very own Woolly Codpiece, so we are instead using local New Zealander "Bruce" to fill in for him.

Reporter: "So Bruce, what can you tell us about the New Zealand sheep situation?"

It was brought to my attention by a newly joined codite that our cult lacks sects. While it is true that we have a few small bits of sects, it tends to be insufficent for the average codite. It important that children are not deprived of the experience of having sects. Children should be encouraged to participate in and initiate their own sects. Some of the best sects start with just the members of your family, and grow to be much larger group sects.

Scientists and Buddhist Monks have long sought to grasp the value of infinity. Their methods have often conflicted, with scientists seeking increasingly more powerful computers to continue to count numbers, while the monks have probed their own minds and understandings of the cosmos to determine it.

Recently however, there has been a breakthrough in the field of Infinitology (the study of infinity). With the help of the Buddhist monk "Dolly Llama", researcher Jon Smith has found, what he believes to be the key to unlocking Infinity.