Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 20:07
In the Pagan/Wiccan "tradition" and several others, their members are encouraged to make use of spells and magicks to gain control over their enviroment (and to generate enough money to keep buying all those Cunningham and SilverWolf books). Well, I want you all to be able to afford to buy shirts, books, bumper stickers, posters and my used underwear, so I better teach you people the arcane and diabolical ways of invoking the powers of Cod.
Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 19:50
It came to be, in the years before the Coming of Seajus, and before the Coming of the Television, and even before the Coming of the Toaster Oven, that sin and debauchery overran the land. And Saint Ignum did say "Woo Hoo!!!! ^__^" as Japanese Schoolgirls Without Panties ran by, giggling like Japanese Schoolgirls Without Panties.
Cod looked down on the world, and did say "Dammit, they're getting more sex than I am! That's just not right!"
And Cod descended unto the world, and commanded everyone to cease having sex immediately.
Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 08:52
In the year 8000 BC a group of powerful Magi came together in the hills above a small rural community in Sydney, Australia. They were the Bullshites, followers of the Dark Lord who had sols their soles for powers beyond the comprehension of mortals as well as free t-shirts, dental insurance and a good pension plan. Their mission was to visit upon the earth the Seven Plagues of Evil that would drive the race of men mad and kinda of annoy the race of yaks.
The Seven Plagues of Evil
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Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 08:18
Being one of the more erratic, paranoid, less-sane cultists (Unlike the Prophet and Company, of whom are merely neurotic), I found myself not-completely-accepted by the inner circle of cod, even though I was one of the first. So, In a desperate attempt to gain acceptance, I took a great chance by seperating myself from them and infiltrating the Stanists.
Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 08:17
In the early days of civilization people had plates and bowls knives and forks and, of course, spoons. However, people had a lot of trouble figuring out what to DO with the spoons because it really isn't easy to eat steak or potatoes or veggies or... any foods they had back then... with a spoon.
Of course, they didn't want to get rid of spoons because then the mooists would gain control of Codism and force them to stop eating steak.
Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 08:13
On routine patrol in the Cape sector, the Enterprise comes upon a very interesting planet. It is almost completely covered with water, and yet scans detect numerous humanoid life signs.
Captain Picard: Are you getting anything, Counselor?
Counselor Troi: I am sensing an all powerful fish-like presence, sir.
Picard: Fish?
Troi: Fish.
Intrigued, Picard sends an away team down to investigate. When they beam down to the planet, Cmdr. Riker, Mr. Data, and Counselor Troi are astounded by what they find.
Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 08:10
And so it was that one day Cod looked up from his oceany home and he saw a prince on a Quest for True Love. The prince, like most on a Quest for True Love, had, for some strange and unknowable reason, rejected all the women in his local kingdom, as well as those nearby. Not only was he rick, but handsome as well, and could easily have wom over any woman he so chose because on top of all THOSE attributes, he was also quite charming. But, as I mentioned before, he didn't like this. Instead all these things added up to make him quite bored, so he decided to leave his kingdom.
Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 08:08
Codism may not seem to have been around for a long time, but I assure that our history is a crazy and diverse as that of any other religion you may have thought to exist. Here's a brief outline of the evolution of Codic churches/sects throughout time:
Cathode Lick Church
The original sect of Cod. Dedicated to the teachings of licking batteries or otherwise inducing mild electrocution to achieve enlightenment. Still very popular among simple minded people and children who have access to forks.
Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 08:05
Some people have often asked me why I think a fish is worthy of worship (some, more humourous, ask why a cod in particular). For their benefit, and the benefit of any other neo-rational person, I have included a collection of facts that serve to support the Codism movement. Most are detailed in a paragraph, explaining what the fact is and why it is significant (for those that I managed to figure out some BS of a rational reason).
Submitted by ProphetOfCod on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 07:22
Welcome to the fedonga ordering page. From here, you can order your very own fedonga that will arrive in anywhere from 2 minutes to 6 aeons. Yes, you can have your very own personal fedonga in your home! Simply fill out the following application form, submit it, and send 4.95$ (minus 4.95$ S&H) to fedonga@cultofcod.org! Yes, within minutes, you could have a fedonga in a colour and style of your choice!
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